Matthew Vaughn’s Argylle is so in love with twists that I’m surprised there isn’t a promotional tie-in with Auntie Anne’s pretzels. Trying to follow its story as it weaves through its reveals and double-crosses is like trying to keep track of a pinball as it bangs around a machine, complete with all the bright lights and loud noises.
The director of the Kingsman movies is no stranger to tales of espionage – even his first X-Men movie pulls much of its aesthetic and story from 1960s spy movies. And here, he opens up with his riff on James Bond, with the dashing Agent Argylle (Henry Cavill) in the middle of a daring mission, assisted by his right-hand man (John Cena) and a hacker (Ariana DeBose). But just as the action ramps up, we get the first of many (many) plot twists. Argylle doesn’t exist; he’s a character created by writer Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard), who’s as timid as he is bold; she’s never so much as thrown a punch and she’s so terrified of air travel, she takes the train on cross-country trips to see her mom (Catherine O’ Hara).
It’s on one of these trips that Elly crosses paths with Aiden (Sam Rockwell), who at first appears to be an ardent fan but is revealed to be an actual superspy. He is, in fact, the real-life version of Agent Argylle – a fact hammered home when Elly begins to visually conflate Rockwell and Cavill during fight sequences – and he’s there to save the writer from a dastardly government agency headed by Bryan Cranston. Her books, it seems, have the ability to predict major global conflicts and now they need her to…well, at this point, the movie ties itself into knots and it’s never quite clear exactly what Elly needs to do or always for whom she’s doing it.
It’s a lot of narrative whiplash, and it’s only the first 15 minutes of the movie. From the train, Elly and Aiden embark on a globe-trotting quest that pits them against the Directorate and strands Elly in a whirlpool of confusion as she never knows who she can trust – aside from her beloved (and very CGI) cat, Alfie.
Vaughn’s never been interested in subtlety, and from the start of Argylle, absolutely nothing feels like it takes place in the real world – and this includes the scenes that take place in the real world. The tone vacillates between blockbuster action epic and sitcom shenanigans, and throughout the first hour, it’s never clear what’s going on or who’s who. Sometimes this can be fun – a reveal involving Cranston’s character gets a ludicrous laugh – and the constant rug-pulling helps us identify with Elly, who’s own sense of reality is being rocked. But the film’s flip tone and obsession with reversals makes it hard to have any emotional investment; what’s the point in caring if the movie’s just going to undo what you know two scenes later? It’s about as substantial as a balloon tied into knots.
But balloons are fun, and sometimes, so is Argylle. Vaughn delivers some energetic action sequences, from the over-the-top, Bond-inspired chase that opens the film to a few brawls that cleverly swap out Cavill and Rockwell mid-punch (Cavill poking fun at his debonair image is enjoyable). The fights are well choreographed, although the CGI assistance is overly evident, particularly as the action sequences build in scale approaching the end of the movie.
It also helps that the ensemble mostly understands how to pitch their performances. Rockwell, in particular, is dependable as ever as a smart-aleck secret agent who can switch between bumbling and badass at the drop of a hat. Cavill and Cena have fun spoofing their usual personas, and Cranston and O’ Hara’s deftness with both drama and comedy allow them to keep their characters from turning into one-note clichés. Samuel L. Jackson also shows up later in the film to collect a paycheck.
Howard is not an action star, which is kind of the point, and her fish-out-of-water confusion is fun in the movie’s first hour. A major reveal in the second half turns the movie into something else entirely, and it becomes a little less headache-inducing and slightly more interesting. There’s a fairly clever twist that sheds new light on everything that’s gone before, and while none of it is believable for a second, it all makes sense in the ludicrous world of the film. The problem is that Howard is a bit out of her depth in scenes that call for more gravitas and emotional weight, and as a love story develops between her and Rockwell, the two never really show much chemistry.
The film’s final half-hour is a mixed bag of action sequences that are fun in concept but hampered in execution. A shootout that I can only describe as an attempt to create the most romantic gunfight ever has some fun visual flourishes, but is held back by an aggravating use of CGI. The same goes for a sequence involving Elly’s ice skating skills that could have been preposterously over-the-top in all the right ways had Vaughn not decided to insert goofy reaction shots. A movie like The Beekeeper gets away with stupidity because it believes it’s being badass; by acknowledging “hey, this is crazy, right?,” Argylle turns the moment into a cheesy mess.
Even after the last bullet has been fired and the last henchman dispatched, Argylle can’t help but ladle on more twists and turns, collapsing on a final image that is funny on the surface but infuriating when you consider that it’s just there to set up even more adventures. And don’t get me started on the film’s mid-credits sequence, which makes no sense in the context of the film except to serve as a blatant setup for a sequel/prequel/remix that might or might not take place in this realm of reality. In the end, maybe Elly is a bit more sure of what’s real and what’s not, but the film can’t stop pulling the rug out from under the audience, and why would an audience sign up to once again land flat on its face?
